Facebook really “gets” me—if this were Opposite Day
Wow, you guys. Facebook really “gets” me. Their sales team is sitting there like, “You know who totally has a job? This Grace chick. Let’s tell her about this awesome bank! Yeah! Because no one ever hears about corporate behemoths these days. And dresses! Bitches be shopping, am I right?”
Supposin’—just supposin’—social networks made suggestions for the greater good. Perhaps it could be PSAs about saving energy this summer. Or reminders to eschew fast food and opt for fresh fruits and veggies. Come on, capitalists; you know that sponsorships can be a goldmine. So why can’t an energy company feature their ENERGY STAR promos? Why can’t a health insurance provider contribute tips on organic eating?
I know, I know. I’m a California-bred hippie. But think about it, top 1% of the nation. On the behalf of young, conscientious people everywhere, give me a sign that you “get” not only what’s important to me but what’s important for a sustainable lifestyle.